I'm a good person, i think?

i asked a question like this before but i don't really remember the answers and i can't look back because the question was blocked. I think I'm a good person, but I'm filled with so much violent rage and hate. I have so many what people have told me are dark desires and ambitions, but i never act on them of course. My whole life I've been isolated, talked about, made fun of, abandoned etc. and their so much hate and bitterness i feel towards everyone. Actually if everyone i knew some how let's say died i don't think i'd shed a tear. I would never harm anybody because I'm a decent person, but I do have a lot of hate and rage inside me. I want to be a police officer so I can help people, but how could I do what is needed when all i feel is hate.